The Canvas
Tatsuya Yurkovich | 18 | SoCal | art | literature | Boys | Single|
I am my mind and all it's oddities and absurdities. I want my name to lock itself in your heart the way yours has entwined itself in every sigh I sigh.
I like incense, books and paint markers. I love to dance, go to The beach, watch films, and laugh with friends.
I'm misanthropic and eclectic.
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Teens & Romance

Romance is hard enough in one’s teen years. Romance while being gay is even worse. Being a gay teenager means that you don’t get to openly express your emotions as often as other people. It means having to hold your tongue and watch your crush pass you by. Now sure there are more openly gay teenagers today than in the past, but that doesn’t mean they’re as easy to spot as you might think. A lot of LGBT teens would also rather be in a secret relationship, so open teens can kiss any cute romantic date fantasies goodbye. And while we can still ask someone out or confess our feelings to that special someone, the very sad truth is— the feeling will not be mutual. So yeah being an LGBT teen can really suck sometimes, especially when all your friends are going out on dates and getting ready for prom and all that jazz while you’re stuck in the spectators section. Being openly gay is very liberating compared to being in the closet, but it can be a real bummer most of the time. I just want to have a nice open relationship with a boy at school who isn’t ashamed to hold my hand. Or kiss me, or walk me to class, etc., but finding a boy like that is easier dreamed than done.

Being me can really suck sometimes. Or always. Mostly always

Just Saying

I think the boy I like thinks I think he’s weird or annoying, and that’s totally not the case! It makes me sad, but the reason I’m so cold is because I’m scared to get close to somebody again. I don’t want him to think I’m a shitty assbutt, but it’s not like i can just tell him I’m scared! I once told him “I don’t hate you I’m just awkward” in a text to which he replied something along the lines of “I get it.” But i don’t think he got it. Ugh and i can’t stop staring at him! All the time. All the damn time, any chance i get. It’s all I do in class. I’m crazy about everything about him. Sometimes he catches me and I look away faster than the speed of light and i see him smile in the side of my eye, but I know better than to make something big of it. And even though I’m pretty sure he thinks i’m nuts, I sometimes catch him smile or giggle when i do something “cute” and it makes my heart flutter and beat faster! ugh.! why.! every day I become more entranced by him. But i know nothing will happen, because he is he, and i am me.

2 years ago
You Guys

I came out to my mom and she cried and her heart broke and what not. Now she wont look at me or talk to me:/ it feels like nothings really changed, now she knows i like guys, but that’s it:(